O.K.! In the mail last week came Beyond Lemuria DVD movie for humble low-wage Shavertron bureau agent to review! It is entire version (yes, not just trailer like before) of Poke Runyon epic, Beyond Lemuria -- The Shaver Mystery and the Secrets of Mt. Shasta!

Let's ask tough question first: why did Richard Shaver get only second line on DVD cover? I mean, Poke Runyon did not call it "The Shaver Mystery -- Mt. Shasta and Beyond Lemuria," did he? Is this due to vast underground conspiracy? No doubt. About what? Deros? That is ill advised. But we distress.

Anyhoo -- as Richard Shaver would say -- this DVD (brown paper wrapper torn by Lithuanian customs, with many fingerprints smeared all over disk, making it skip in Figbar Soviet surplus player) gave humble reviewer a second chance to see hot conclusion of delectible sister Lilith dero-induced stim scene. Not to ruin ending here, but why not? Sister Lileth croaks due to overstimulating evil dero priestess played by Isabela "whatta-babe" Shahira.

Full DVD was big improvement over trailer. For one thing, real movie is way longer than trailer. This makes for much more dialogue to move plot.

First part is lecture, sort of. Never before seen footage of ancient ruins in some south sea island Figbar will never get to see otherwise.

And turns out Richard Shaver look alike from trailer -- "the Professor" -- really is Poke Runyon! No doubt he is proud of uncanny resemblence, which, even in fragmented former Soviet state is desirable.

AnyHOO I read over Shavertron editor's interview with Poke Runyon. There could be way more to this Beyond Lemuria movie than you think! For one thing, actors in Beyond Lemuria are only part time actors. Daytime jobs consist mostly of magician or metaphysician type positions. And Figbar not speaking about rabbit out of a hat stuff, either! This big time temple hopping, ritual magick with big, fat K! If you listen to Poke Runyon commentary with movie, it reveals all. WArning: there may be converts!

Big debate is over whether Richard Shaver -- if still alive -- would convert to ultra-dimensional theory of cavern world, or would he stick to big "caves-are-real" guns as told Shaver in thousands of pages of Hidden World magazine?

Poke Runyon claims resounding YES. But lowly reviewer say NO CHANCE, dude! Richard Shaver knew what he knew and saw what he saw. End of debate. Caves real? Unreal? Answer: You got to be kidding. Obviously real, or I am not Figbar Tobar. But Richard Shaver no longer with us dero lobotomized humans anyway, soooo? Why argue it?

Big mind-zap in movie is that actors play two parts. One good. One bad. One is Tim Leary hip crowd aching for Mt. Shasta, other is Draconian evil doers who find out the hard way that left-hand path strewn with deros. In fact, deros play big part in this movie.

Favorite character: Zoltan Nodesque, is dero-willed Nazi who lives forever on baby blood (played by Gregory Jednack, who deserves best supporting Nazi dero at Oscars, next to Emily Trempe for sister Lilith stim ray scene).

OK. Face it: Shaver Mystery fen HAVE to BUY this movie, otherwise wonder forever if evil dero take over Mt. Shasta, usher in year 2012, and tell truth about how much stim ray is too much.

Figbar Tobar Movie Trailer Index rating: two thumbs up for Poke Runyon as Richard Shaver and one big thumb up for Xena warrior priestess dero bombshell babe; 2.5 hits of acid for Timothy Leary cult who takes on evil Draconian agents. You can watch trailer if you go to beyondlemuria.com. This movie can be purchased on Amazon.com too for only $19.95 each.

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