BECOMING COMFORTABLY NUMB

To join Numb you must take the following steps, but you must be certain that Numbness is what you truly seek, for once you have crossed into Numb the road away from Numb is difficult and dangerous, full of pitfalls and trials of the soul.....(although I suppose that if you stopped paying league dues and showing up to games, parties, and events,...)

TASKS AND REQUIREMENTS

First, you must clear your head of frivolous things,... and then fill it with... other frivolous things. Numb is a place to forget the outside world and be at peace, laughing and taunting each other and the outside world.

Second, you must enjoy softball. Not so much in the sense of winning, (not that we wouldn’t LIKE to enjoy it purely for winning, but since we can’t consistently hold that concept...) but rather for participation as a group and distraction that it provides. As Spock once said, ”The good of the many....aaaaaahrrgh”.

Third, You must like the Numbies, (although you don’t have to like all the Numbies, and not most at any particular time. But at some point you should be able to stand a couple of us for a while, although it wouldn’t have to be an enclosed space...) with all their individual quirks and faults, for each has a number of unique traits, and as a group they seem to “fit” together in a strange sort of bizarre unison. Because, while it is not true that Numbies eat their young, you might begin to think they should...

Fourth, you must enjoy hanging after and having a beer (or soda) after the game (regardless as to whether you have played or not). Life is short, softball fun, and you have to hang out and let coach Eddy (the Bulge) gloat in victory, or mope in defeat. It’s a special thing...

Fifth, and most importantly, You must embrace the Numbmandments.

Additional qualities of Numbies include ibuprofen popping, whacko golf tournaments, the annual Christmas party, the occasional road trip, hot tubbing (it didn’t used to be to reduce pain - see “Ibu”) and, of course, shooting Ouzo to Connie!

While a job is a good thing to have when Numbing, Numbies have never held this as a requirement for membership. The Numb elders even have a form of welfare for Numbies fallen on hard times, or haven’t yet achieved their working potential.

“GEE THIS SOUNDS GREAT TO ME! SO, HOW DO I SIGN UP?”

There are primarily four ways to join Numb:

     1.  Play on a Numb Team.
     There is a men’s team (true Numb) and a co-ed team (Numb)
     The co-ed team plays on Fridays.
     2.  Become a Numb Fan
     Come to the Men’s games and watch, score keep, or just be a rabid fan.
     Men’s games are on Thursdays, schedule is on the web page.
     3.  Marry or date a Numbie, and then see #2.
     4.   Buy lots of Numb outer wear and other promotional items.

“WHICH DO YOU RECOMMEND?”

The third is a bit drastic,. Would you buy a new car without having driven it first?
I recommend #1 or #2 before trying #3 (although it has happened). #4 should be done by all Numb.

I hope this is helpful for you in making a decision to join Numb. Numb isn’t for just everybody. So, come to a game. Have a beer with us (..or hey, make friends by bringing the beer!). We’d love to have you as a part of Numb, but remember, as I say on my bio page: “The first five years are the easiest”

Good luck!

JT