Comfortably Numb Roster Statistical Information Sheet

Name: Mike Ritchie
Primary position: Infield, Missionary
Throws: Right
Bats: OccasionallyFirst Year with Numb: 1987
Continually?: Yes / No / On and off / Twice / Once
Age in Dog Years (multiply by 7): 245
Knee brace: No / Yes - L / R  Both  Does this disqualify me?
Surgeries (Describe if not too gory): None
More Than One Surgery In Same --
(check all - knee/ankle/foot/shoulder/eye/testicle/other) Yes / No
Current status: Mobile / Ambulatory / Wounded / Lame
Disability?: My frequent flyer status

Base Path Speed: 10x faster than Hanna (who isn't?)
Base Running Decision Making: The Anti-Tim
Reaction Time: Very Good (self defense)
Baseball Sense: I make the right decision...er...usually
Worn Penalty Shirt?: Not yet / Yes (number of times) [ ] ( reason{s}) 

Coaches Comment:     

Martial Status: Married to former "numb bunny"
Dating Availability: Limited
(If married, work phone #): 911
Currently Employed?  Yes / No
How Long With Current Company?: newbie
Will Company Fold In The Next 6 Months?  Yes / God I hope so
     
Hobbies You Can Talk About: Internet, Soccer, talking car rental firms into giving me that COOL car over there.
Hobbies You Can't Talk About: cross dressing, cannibalism (oops…sorry…those are Jay’s)
Favorite Movie: Blues Brothers & Major League (the first one only)
Cried When Old Yeller Died? Isn't Hanna still alive?
Favorite Book:(If no book, favorite comic): Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot
Seen Disney's Alladin?  about 100 times (have a 2 year old)
Saw "SEX" in the mist in Alladin? Nope, but see it everywhere else.

Favorite Web Page: www.amuse.com, and the NUMB home page!
Favorite Post Game Bar/Restaurant: Next to the beer cooler
Favorite Beer: Anything but that cheap crap that Tim brings
Favorite Brand of Ouzo: Zippo…oops, that’s lighter fluid

Advice You'd Give to Someone Just Joining Numb: You’ll never figure it out, so don’t hurt yourself trying
Favorite Quote: Getting old ain't for sissies.