Comfortably Numb Roster Statistical Information Sheet

Name: Ed 'Coach Eddie' Uhlir
Primary position: Third Base
Throws: Right
Bats: Right
First Year with Numb: 1980 (co-founder)
Continually?: Yes / No / On and off / Twice / Once
Age in Dog Years (multiply by 7): 336
Knee brace: Three
Surgeries (Describe if not too gory): # knees, achilles tendon, circumcision      
More Than One Surgery In Same --
(check all - knee/ankle/foot/shoulder/eye/testicle/other) Yes / No
Current status: Stumbles often
Disability?: Mental

Base Path Speed: Excellent / Very Good / Good / Fair / Slow as Molasses / Base Running Decision Making: Cunning / Capable / Adequate / Inept 
Reaction Time: Excellent / Very Good / Good / Fair / Weak / Zombie-Like
Baseball Sense: Excellent / Very Good / Good / Fair / Weak / Space Cadet
Worn Penalty Shirt?: No / Yes (number of times) [ ] ( reason{s}) 

Coaches Comment: I am the coach

Martial Status: Married
Dating Availability: Worse than before married ..Ooof! I mean, none!
Currently Employed?  Yes / No
How Long With Current Company?: 1.5 years
Will Company Fold In The Next 6 Months?  If I continue to work there
     
Hobbies You Can Talk About: Gardening, Drinking
Hobbies You Can't Talk About: Spice Girls, Playboy collecting
Favorite Movie:  Insatiable
Cried When Old Yeller Died?  Who is old Yeller?     
Favorite Book:(If no book, favorite comic): Never read
Seen Disney's Alladin?  Who is Disney?
Saw "SEX" in the mist in Alladin? See sex everywhere

Favorite Web Page: web what?     
Favorite Post Game Bar/Restaurant: Anywhere that serves me     
Favorite Beer: Wet 
Favorite Brand of Ouzo: Metaxa 

Advice You'd Give to Someone Just Joining Numb: Be patient
Favorite Quote: "Numb, not just a team, but a way of life "