1. And Now For Something Completely Similar
2. Take Two Placebos And Call Me Lame
3. What's The Matter With Parents Today?
4. Dinasours Will Die
5. Thank God It's Monday
6. Clams Have Feelings Too (Actually They
Don't)
7. Louise
8. Stranger Than Fishin
9. Pharmacist's Daughter
10. Bottles To The Ground
11. Total Bummer
12. My Vagina
13. Herojuana
14. Theme From A NOFX Album
And Now For Something Completely Similar
CD lyrics: Hello, Welcome to our CD.
Can you hear the blatant similarity to Linoleum and Shadows of Defeat?
Vinyl lyrics: Hello, welcome to our
disc. Turn it up and get your neighbors pissed. Or turn it
down, it don't matter to me.
Take Two Placebos And Call Me Lame
Canít you see my soul worn on the second sleeve
Itís going up for sale as soon as it gets saved Interrogation blues, once
again I lose You donít get to magnify my insecurities You donít get to
site and save my unhip-ocracies Not for sale Take two placebos then you
can call me lame Walk some in my shoes then tell me to fuck off My oversized
hat wonít fit your humongous head Iíll trade a hundred days for one inside
of you Take me to a cave, where I canít be seen Solace makes the heart,
pump adrenaline Iím sick of being used, time and again betrayed Give a
man a key, he cannot not open the door Give him something free and heíll
sell it to the poor Cíest la vie Take two placebos then you can call me
lame Walk some in my shoes then tell me that Iím fucked My humongous hat
wonít fit your gigantic head.
What's The Matter With Parents Today?
Mom and dad, how'd ya get so rad, when exactly
did you get so hip Wearing teenage clothes youíre always coming to my shows
And telling me that I should mellow out Itís absurd, youíre singing every
word. Youíre not supposed to like my bands, things I like you donít
understand So please put down that rum and coke, thatís no behavior for
old folks Dad and mom, what planet are you from And what convinced you
to pack up and leave Doin drugs and asking me for hugs, whatís the matter
with parents today Not again, when will it end Dads dressing like Motley
Crue and why is moms hair dyed bright blue There staying out till 2 or
3 and then having sex publicly I thought the apple fell far from the tree
Mom and dad I think you ought, to quit smoking so much pot And hanging
with my friends Laying round on the couch, with my Misfits records out
Softly banging their heads Maybe itís just a passing phase Whatís the matter
with my parents these days.
Dinasours Will Die
This is not a test on the emergency broadcast system
This is the real thing Sit back watch it crumble, see the drowning watch
the fall I feel just terrible about it, thatís sarcasm, let it burn Iím
gonna make at toast when it falls apart Iím gonna raise my glass abuv my
heart Then someone shouts thatís what they get! For all the years
of hit and run for all the piss broke bands on VH1 Where did all their
money go donít we all know Parasitic music industry as it destroys itself
Weíll show them how itís supposed to be Music written from devotion not
ambithicin, not for fame Zero people are exploited there are no tricks
up or sleeve Were gonna fight against the mass appeal Were gonna kill the
seven record deal Make records that have more then one good song The dinosaurs
will slowly die and I do believe no one will cry Iím just fucking glad
Iím gonna be there to watch the fall Prehistoric music industry three feet
in la brea tar Extinction never felt so good If you think anyone will feel
badly you are sadly mistaken The time has come for evolution fuck collusion
kill the big five What ever happened to the handshake whatever happened
to deals no one would break whatever happened to integrity Itís still there
it always was for playing music just because A million reasons why all
dinosaurs must (will) die.
Thank God It's Monday
Iím gonna tell you what I really think I like about
Monday Cause they fell like Saturdays When you donít have to go to work,
every day is a holiday I wake up when I want to, I do anything I wanna
do Canít wait for Tuesday I really donít like Fridays I canít do what I
wanna do Sold out at the movies, canít eat at the restaurant Everybody
wants to party, but the barís full of cigarette smoke I think Iíll stay
home, I think Iíll wait for Monday I live a five day weekend, I gotta year
long holiday Thanks god itís Monday The only place I gotta be is the show
or on the first tee Thank god itís Monday Never mind aggravation, just
give me modulation gimmie another key Iíll tell you why I like Tuesdays,
cause theyíre kinda like Christmas Come to think about Wednesdays, are
a little like Hanakah Thursdays thanksgiving, Iím talking about good living
I think Iíll give thanx Thank god itís Monday.
Clams Have Feelings Too (Actually They Don't)
Birds are dumb cause small bird brains But so are
kids and old people Some birds talk, most others sing I donít see you eating
a talking bird Pigs smell bad and roll in pooh But so do kids and elderly
I donít see you chop of an old manís feet Put them in a mason jar and pickle
them No chowder for you, cause clams have feelings too Actually they donít
have central nervousness No manhatten style, clams have the right to smile
Come to thin about it they donít have a face They have no face, no place
for ears Thereís no clam eyes to cry clam tears No spixal cord, they must
get bored Might as well just put them out of misery Although the world
could be more selfish I guess itís alright to eat shellfish No chowder
for you, cause clams have feelings too I could happen to you, clams have
feelings too I donít think they do, clams have feelings too.
Louise
She gotta silicone cock sticking in her ass and
one in her cunt A butterfly vibrator strapped tight her clit But whoís
got the remote control That would belong to Louise Sheís got a new pet
a real vaginal tease You know that mummyís little girl is not gonna do
as she please I she donít want to get a spankin She likes to speak like
a six year old brat Mommy discipline me cause you know Iíve been bad Start
with a cat then sheíll move to a crop Neither one is willing to stop She
know that girls just wanna have fun With four piercings on each side of
her labia A little luggage lock connecting each one Prevents her girl from
goin astray Slut you think youíve seen your master mean You better lick
my puss and asshole clean Treat my clit like bubblegum Bitch make me come
Itís time for bed sheíll secure her head Between her thighs for a thorough
night suck Along with this sheíll be drinking her piss So Louise donít
have to get up Two goddesses in love One resides below one reigns from
above One adorns cuffs while one covets keys The purgatorial touch of Louise.
Stranger Than Fishin'
Got a no string guitar, got a sunn beta head Iím
a rock N roll star I ainít no musician some things are stranger than fishin
Got a beat on a drum no how to sing outta key Got some illegal drugs I
ainít no musician some things are stranger than fishin I know what I Iím
weight out another gram Some of us have all the luck No matter how much
we fucking suck.
Pharmacist's Daughter
Give her a call for demorol and amal nitrate I
tell her dad donít worry sir we wonít stay out late Iím in love with her,
the pharmacistís daughter Sheís got my love, I get her drugs Waking up
in the afternoon canít wait to see her Bringing in some colonopin, Iím
huffing ether Sheís the one for me, without personality, I still want to
see her every day We got a date and I canít wait to see my baby If I wine
and dine her she just might sedate me Sheís so beautiful she keeps my prescriptions
full Sheís got my love I get her drugs Looks like Iíve gone and bought
the farmacy.
Bottles To The Ground
You know it when itís over Door are closing feel
the sober staring at you You know you better take one more good look One
more round then itís bottles to the ground Smashing of the glass what a
super sonic sound You gotta pull the plug when itís time to die Whoa whoa
whoa, bottles to the ground Thereís a suitcase on the side walk Thereís
some records in a milkcrate Sheíll be staying Youíll be throwing whiskey
over one lip One more round then itís bottles to the ground Smashing of
the glass a perfect imperfect sound You gotta pay the piper when the rats
are gone Whoa whoa whoa, bottles to the ground One more round then itís
bottles to the ground.
Total Bummer
Go away sunny day All the horny people sitting
in front of their TV and thinking What is wrong with me Iím not a monster
Why wonít anybody fuck me I donít wanna live life lonely Why does everyone
have to be perfect Go away sunny day All the barflys sipping whiskey Fighting
ever present pity Wondering what they are sucking back for Is it the drink
or trepidation, Watching all trains leave the station Left standing alone
without a ticket Go away sunny day Stop searching cause thereís no answer
Just a long line of disaster Thereís no simple way to stop the sadness
Lifeís not fair Iím glad itís not This isnít heaven just a lonely planet
On the verge of self destruction.
My Vagina
My vagina has two sets of lips, but I donít got
monthly blood drips My vagina hardly even used My vagina got lotís of extra
skin, they took my outtie and made it an in Turning donnie into Marie Osmand
Operation successful, but now I gotta pee threw a miniature hole Gotta
remember to put the seat down and when I wipe my ass I go from front to
back Cause I donít want to get a bladder infection I never thought Iíd
miss my vas deferance I trade it in for a par of huge cans Now I get to
hang with lesbians Operation paid up front Now I show all my friend my
new designer cunt They think Iím kinda weird but thatís ok with me Cause
now I kick their ass playing from the ladies tee Thereís nothing finer
than having a vagina.
Herojuana
Light the match burn the flour Leave behind all
the wrong Why be sad when happiness can be bought for a little more then
free Modern day prohibition Are we men, are we children At what age can
I choose how to live The only real drug problem is scoring real good drugs
Havenít we learned our lesson The corner store sells the finest scotch
But whoís got uncut powder We just want what is ours dignity If god created
plants and buds that I find and abuse Then who the fuck are you to judge
me?
Theme From A NOFX Album
Weíre professional punkers we come from the suburbs
After 15 years weíre still having fun Now weíre over 30 not looking so
pretty at least we got a beat up accordian Thatís Erik our drummer his
fathers a plumber He drank enough booze to get rhode island drunk Now sober
but smelly heís got one big belly From living the good life provided by
punk Singin Singin Singin Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong Gimmie
some bushmills Iíll sing you this song Open another big box of cheap wine
weíre over 30 weíre doin just fine El Hefe is not satanic heís one hip
hispanic He grew up with one dozen cousins and kin He wears baggy pants
he know how to break dance Youíve seen him do every impersonation That
Melvin on six string some tell me I canít sing Oh I think you can just
donít do it round me Stick with what you know Playing guitar solo with
hetson and watt in punk rock karaoke Singin Singin Singin Buy me a becks
beer or pass me a bong Gimmie some bushmills Iíll sing you this song Open
another big box of cheap wine weíre over 30 weíre doin just fine My name
is Fat Mike Iím obsessed with big lesbians Iíve been a punk rocker for
most of my life I sing kinda flat Iím not really that fat But thatís how
I hit them with a hook or a slice Iím Kent I do sound look his getting
so round Iím Timmy the Turtle he counts as he clicks Iím Jay I donít care
someone please cut his hair Iím Limo from Scotland so give me haggis Singin
Singin Singin Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong Gimmie some bushmills
Iíll sing you this song Open another big box of cheap wine weíre over 30
weíre doin just fine Buy me a becks beer or pass me a bong Gimmie some
bushmills Iíll sing you this song We a quaalide or chop we a line weíre
pushin 40 weíre doin just fine Give me a casual, pass me a bong, Give me
Glen Lebbit Iíll sing you this song Open another big box of cheap wine
If you take the low road then I'll take the high.