1. Backwards Thinking
2. Broken Circles
3. The Dawning Of This Night Divine
4. Queen Maggot
5. Heresy
6. Unscarred Act Of Trust
7. Senseless Accusations
8. The Party's Over
9. Sick And You're Wrong
10. Premonition
11. Last Time, Lost Count
12. Junk
13. One Track Mind
14. Blank Stare
Backwards Thinking
so stuck in your human ideals. your sickness
has been ignored for far too long. no longer will i refrain from
questioning you. to unnunciate my words more clearly or quote a scripture
from God's word wouldn't make you change your mind. you'll always
think i need to do things your way. there's no room for equality.
no one can be different with your realm of thought. you preach love,
but bigotry is the only seed that you sow. you're so far from the
truth with your backwards thinking. so concerned with condemnation
you've forgotten how to love.
Broken Circles
i hate what you've done to me. i hate what
i feel. pail love gone void. cracks in your smile, lipstick
smear. we used to be like animals. now there's nothing here.
dead bodies spinning hula hoops in their graves. the times are changing,
you're not a part of me anymore. there's nothing i can do but wonder
what happend to me and you. is there no forward regression, our past
memory deflating. nothing can last. drowning slowly in sorrow.
am i selfish, unchanged?
The Dawning Of This Night Divine
victory draws closer as death caves in around me.
the cracks in your face reveal everything i thought was true. the
lies of me and you. the song quickens pace. the race of time
taking effect. this love's a hole infecting virus. with lack
of commitment and true confession. it's my fault as much as it's
yours. and there's blood covering me, only so i can see through it.
just enough to forgive you. death is all around, i feel it in the
air. i hear the song and take the pain. let's skip the part
about you and me fighting. buy thee ocean. wondering what to
do. let's just pretend i never meant to hurt you. wish i never
felt this way. tell me how love's supposed to be and why you've been
here. the fire's out tonight, the coal is gone. your decision
effecting the fall. the leaves are dead and so are we. winter
in my heart, darkness in my mind. this is when you say life hurts.
make the pain go away. you open the door, step out on the grass.
become a silhouette in the moonlight. you light a spark in my heart
and my mind. walk to the edge of the cliff, staring at the stars
and the ocean.
Queen Maggot
there is no question of my faith. this beginning
ending life. there is a black and white divide, fine line of gray
inside. destroying all my self belief. ending quickly.
i want to kiss the sky you breathe. i need the taste just one more
time. and i stand alone. the sickness burying my feet.
i see through your lies and you'll perish. i wish this would go away.
we shouldn't end up like this together. frustration, no end.
i wish we could just begin forever, but there seems no resolve. destroying
all what once begotten. it's not your fault or my fault. it's
just the course which our lives have taken. now something's rotting
inside. how can we repair what's still decaying. screaming
for resolution. instructions from the next place. i lay my
body down, parasites feeding off flesh. rotting, preparing my own
death. waiting to awake from this trance. i will not be left
behind. will you be with me forever? festuring moments in time.
suggestions made to stand triumphant. eternity reflects my mind.
body rejects, impulse i'm waking. just one hope in my eyes.
resolve these matters from the outside. i'm waiting for consomation.
i'm waiting for you confrontation. heaven, we found the truth in
dieing time.
Heresy
i'm justified, i'm sanctified in you, i'm nothing
less. torn apart inside myself. a dripping, bloody mess.
i need your love, your strength to guide. facing life renewed.
each day in you i never need materials, health, or wealth. no, you've
given your life and some of us demand as much, using heresy as our crutch.
but i refrain belief in these lies. your body's not corupt.
no and i don't need materials, health, or wealth. true holiness does
not make me rich. i refuse to believe that i am a god and can speak
to make anything exist. i will suffer everyday because of these lies.
you've turned God into a pagan myth. then you say i have not received
the Holy Ghost into my life, or that i have victory in Christ. give
up these lies, give up this myth. give up your pseudo christian belief.
accept the truth, Christ is God. give up these lies you heretic.
Unscarred Act Of Trust
something so unreal beyond definition became reality
in me. upon conception of Your will in my heart, i began. Your
will conceived in me, giving me new life. boldness, i stand upright.
i remain in You, forever unscarred. You will not forsake me.
eternity, consuming fire within. redirect myself to You Lord, forever.
i remain in You, forever unscarred. i see nothing but You in my eyes.
i'm filth, raise me up to the sky. i see things clear now.
Your will transcending into peace of my mind. cradle me in Your arms
Lord. i continually need Your solitude. shelter my flesh, i'm
coming home. You. wisdom, crying in the streets for no avail.
nothing. you're pretending to not hear what can be heard. inside.
the beginning of knowledge is more than fear itself. incline your
heart toward understanding. wisdom in action, understanding reaction.
how long does your simplicity last? naivety, take pleasure in scoffing.
foolish, hate, knowledge, and despite wisdom and discipline fills no void
in their vocabulary. turn to reprod, acknowledge Him and your paths
will be straight. blessed is he who finds wisdom and gains understanding,
for it profits better than silver or gold. walking upright, searching
beginning. consistently, excepting rebuke.
Senseless Accusations
was it worth it? did you ever think it was?
a waste of breath, with words of intolerance. a strike against us,
in your ignorance. what matters is you're here and now. tomorrow
will take care of itself... if tomorrow ever comes. so much planning
in your head of things already dead. what ever happened to rules
one and two? do you know what i say? can you hear me when i
talk to you? i wait in silence for the answers. confused by
what i feel. i refuse to give in. i'm not a part of your master
plan to twist, corrupt, and decay. "let's just convert the world",
you say. change comes from inside to out. redirect your attitude
and stop accusing me with senseless accusations. i refuse it.
The Party's Over
crash triggers clinging chokers, choking victory
dry. don't panic simply, randomly. "so what", she has alzheimers.
mathmatically epileptic. if she don't wet her pants first.
the problem, a constitution null and void. who's to look for your
disclaimer? get over it. the question then becomes fragmented,
jaded, or confused. everyone gets together. vibrations named
ourselves. don't cry this inauration day. best billows i ever
felt. is it fulfilling? collectivism, discipling, unionism.
trading our souls to never fill your void. labor $10 minimum.
she's still dieing and wets the bed again. who's more frustrated?
me or you or you or me. take a look. what it conception?
some frivolous game puts children on the street. her disease is still
the same. old and stiff and angry, birth to death. what have
you left, but a small space in between. don't waste your time, it's
short. primal language of new born infants. choking ignorant.
raised deaf, dumb, and blind. old age desire. in solitude of
other brainwashed has-beens. incontinent failure. none of us
survive, survive fire. we all die too young.
Sick And You're Wrong
some people believe such stupid lies. how
can you not see? studying the word each day, but you still manage
to deceive. the masses feel good raised here. that's why they
believe mass hypnosis, mystical charm. stories that aren't real.
get off your high horse man. step down and meet your maker.
how can you say to the mentally retarded that their pain is wrong?
how can you say to the physically handicapped that they can't glorify the
Lord? well you're wrong. your idol worship is making me sick.
i want to puke right in your face. how can you hurt someone when
it's not their fault, then turn and blame them saying they have no faith?
i think your definition of faith is wrong and you've changed the word of
God. you're the one who's handicapped. you're the one to blame.
i rebuke you, repent, repent. your disability to believe. truth
ails me. my God loves equally. everyday we're dieing... next
thing you know i'll be dead. you're sick and you're wrong.
you're sick.
Premonition
a quick glance forward only lends a hard hand backwards.
leaning not on self alone, yet feeling sufficient for life giving forces.
recklessness ends all possibility of future in this dark age. we've
destroyed through murmuring, guestures which confront ourselves.
and i cry out Lord take me now. i know it's the end. she said,
"our time lasts". i guess she proved herself wrong. i thought
i know the love of two. i forgot three makes a trinity. three,
a perfect union. i can sense the end in your eyes. i hear your
throughts in my memory. how could i forget. how could i forget
the close proxemity of your face. i guess we all stumble sometimes.
Lord, i cry at Your feet.
Last Time, Lost Count
heart ripped incision, my pain. death, breaking,
decaying. twisting my inside while trying. enduring cause failing.
hope fleting deminished. lost count, last track. one time noose
folding. my rope is breaking. mind shifting thoughts i can
not see. speak softly, listening. walking on broken glass.
someone catch me. my life you took from and molded me. you've
broken me. what use in no use? it's my use, tie this noose
tighter. whisper. speak louder, much louder now. screaming.
intoxicate me. falling. remebering my own words. stolen.
never to be returned again. last time, lost count.
Junk
the need to realize. shot, shot, shot, blank.
staring down the barrel of my arm. shot, shot, shot, dead.
it's over, drawn black. shot, shot, shot, red. no restrictions.
sucking eyes inward, immobile. bionic continuity. till death
do us part.
One Track Mind
your substantial credibility isn't much a part
of me. a spreading sickness, poor in taste. no sense of reality.
following the newest trend, it's cutting edge. so you pretend to
believe ideals and conform to rules of material opinions. we're all
products of a manufactured generation, controlled through television by
sex and violence. resist. we accept the obscene as average.
twisting all that our instincts are fighting for, resist it. man
exploiting women, flesh, sex, skin, flash. we rape, we destroy all
that's holy, resist them. flesh market society we digress.
we fight to survive while destroying each other with selfishness.
lies of liberty and freedom. hopes in something called democracy.
making the reality.
Blank Stare
death is part of this pail second. reacting
in chaos with only moments to spare. i'm still trying to figure the
part i played in this game, my own demise. how can we be reconciled
from all this when repetition has no strenght or value. and all that
i see is unapealing away. so tempting, decadence nails me.
what risk am i taking for being alive? the fear i confront from existance.
carry me out now. i need more than solitude. save me from myself
deceiving lies, angry tears are choking me. forcing me down to my
knees. hearts pure intentions are failing me. due to flesh
in weakness. integrity lost a portion of myself. now drowning
slowly. forsaking, waiting to begin my dieing time. burning
from inside, wretched am i. weak and in doubt, i still suffer.
go figure, i've never once budged an inch. even though from my heart
i'm still trying. trying to see clear my vision. it fails me,
returning to nothing. demise, my own demise.