1. Short Hand Operation
2. Fulfilled
3. Torment In Tension
4. Outbreak
5. Nostalgia
6. It Seems So Far Away (Instrumental)
7. Solo Contendre
8. Hope
9. Letting Loose
10. Not Like Me
11. Intermediate Laceration
12. What I Am
13. Second Stage Of Adolesence
14. At The End Of It All
Short Hand Operation
short hand operation. my body lays exposed
on the operating table. one blind eye pulled from the stems.
the other frantically recalls memories like news broadcasts from an a.m.
radio station. realizing just what i've become. i turn to cherish
the moment of forgiveness. my second skin being removed so slowly.
the moments like hours. the minutes like days. grinding through
see-saw stardust. pixel vision naturally shapeless. i endure
this captivity. my regret so colorless and futile. my hands
lay severed beside me. dull, pale, scratching at the floor.
these thoughts once pondered my own self destruction. i remember
devouring all that was left of your wounded heart. i was never the
person you thought i was. i was never the person i thought i was.
i'm without, i'm nothing now. the truth has been seen through incision.
mind intercourse, thought correction. it always comes back to sin
and catastrophe. desire welling up inside. passions arise.
rekindled memories. affections so bliss. forgotten pristine
candy. red shake and shiver. objection dead. skin crawling.
chaotic conversion. switchstance. whitewash my face to gleam
again.
Fulfilled
we all call for change. it becomes automatic.
your wasting my time by apologizing. i've come to expect this little
from you. it all ends in tears anyway. my thoughts are captive.
my heartbeat quickens. Lord show me your way. the blood
that covers me seems so far away, yet it's still clouding up my eyes.
and yesterdays tricks are getting older. will we be wiser next time?
will there be a next time? my heartbeat quickens. my prayers
are answered. Lord set my path strait. i'm needing you more
and more. i'm finding myself so hopeless. there's something
dead inside me and i know your burning here too. the back of my neck
burning, twists me for new breath. becoming fulfilled. new
life taken eternal. a sanity in step. tomorrow's a new death.
all is fulfilled. new life's taking me over right now. i'm
fulfilled.
Torment In Tension
sound mockery regaining speed, transfixed on absolution.
attempting to overthrow through blind manipulation. a picture perfect
memory so real. surveillance of this friendly haunting must've been
so weak not to count on murder. emersion has been totally eradicated.
body awakening, we've gained control. "i'm so messed up , "
she said, "to many noises in my head." laughter reverberating
through this frazzled mind. you can see the torment in my eyes.
die in my eyes, die. three days of relative tranquility. edge
of the summer heat. the jest of this city. turning sullen,
descending. such a day, ignore my darkening but don't forget how
near we've become. don't you ever forget just how near to silence
we've become. this weighs to heavy against me. i thought we
could, but there's nothing left to say. there's nothing left to say.
there's always tension. torment in tension. i felt so comfortable
in a room alone. black washed walls. no words, just silence.
this disappearance has left me fractured. a fragile wreck in a storm
consuming all that i am and there's nothing to say. there's nothing
to say. there's nothing to say. there's always tension.
torment in tension. i'm impaired by your leopard skin sin.
Outbreak
she's spilling orange and sun and chasing it again.
she beat her own self. she called a bluff on spider bite. i
was this close, just three years shy six months. chameleon lines.
now tell me who lied? i take back the red light that draped her face.
frank and the rain from her ears. a box of words re-owned.
outbreak, breakout. taste your own touch. outbreak. another
lost year. she saved green stamps for a day like today. hold
it steady and cut it deep. the blood runs warm. she'll deny
what it's done. feel the color of rotting pears in response to the
apposable thumb. look me in the eye.
Nostalgia
am i waiting for nothing at all? hawhee,
hawhee, hawhee, oh baby. and what are you saving yourself for?
hawhee, hawhee. oh my little one, don't be ashamed with my heart
wide open. you can pour yourself in me. now there's nothing
wrong with that that i can see. my heart feels life. nostalgia.
i wish we could go on and on and on and on and on. listening to the
echoes remaining. i hear your voice inside my head. now i know
that we've just begun. again i reach out my hands to you. staring
through the shadows on you face. i wonder are we heading to that
place between nowhere and not much else? nostalgia.
It Seems So Far Away (Instrumental)
Solo Contendre
eyes looking through me. some curvature.
i don't know. dining the black mine. a night could only rectify
doubt. the newest form, like cherry red. black eyes.
soft wool, tied in knots, pointing compliments. unaware of any expectations.
horizontal dreams are the only thing. this was made for you and me.
always a doubt lingering with a new song. a moment collapsed like
tension of bats disturbed by daylight. oh, they're so disturbed.
oh to dance and sing a sweet, sweet melody. now i'll never forget
your face. now i'll never forget this place. i won't be here
too long. i won't be here too long. nolo contendre. there's
no control. you cradle me, caress me. it's never quite there
and all my insecurities race to the surface, longwinded. your eyes
look through me. this curvature i know well. there's no contest,
you're the one.
Hope
gurgling, gasping for air. i need the breath
of life. the breath of life. the breath of life. i am
weak from the fight and i can still hear them celebrating victory.
wiping the blood from my face. the pain creeps in taking over my
thoughts. my spirit lays broken, shattered, shrouded by you.
your icy pale skin in the cemetery plot i dug for you. i push you
in and i like it. hating the darkness which becomes my flesh.
inside this shell you try to hide. your still churning. mind
and spirit burning. torture love never fails. exception in
your case. failure comes quite naturally or so it seems. fading
in and out from black to white, to black to white again. watching
the blood running down my cheek. and my spirit lays broken.
and i feel so shattered and so tired. i dug a hold six feet deep
for you and you want it.
Letting Loose
right now i got it out now. i gotta get it
out right now. something inside my soul is trying to get through.
i'll let it out if you can gaze beneath my skin. my muscles, they
ache to let you out. i'm letting loose. these nervous nerves
of mine in your fire i feel numb. letting loose, letting loose.
anger strikes a chord. the tension is building. i'll let you
out when you gaze beneath my skin. my body, it breaks to let you
out. i'm letting loose. these nervous nerves of mine.
you ain't got the nerve to gaze beneath my nervous nerves. you ain't
got the nerve to gaze beneath my nervous nerves.
Not Like Me
there's no reason to do just what you say.
all i fought comes round ten times my way. strange looking sequence,
i'm falling apart today. carrying over into new memories. no
it's not like this, no it's not like you at all. no it's not like
this, no it's not like you at all. no it's not like this and no it's
not like me. now what should i say to all your questioning?
your life is vacant, your words just trivial, dogmatic, meaningless, with
no relationship at all. you've lost community. no how can you
live? revolution, spinning around again. lost in rebellion.
burnt on religion. new conviction. i won't do what you say.
new conviction. i won't do what you say.
Intermediate Laceration
did you see it? could you sense the tension?
thickness was building, yet for a surprise crimson starlight. your
chanting my curse. it's a lovesick dead end. your whitewashed
lies. your clean cut sneer. your whitewashed lies. tongue
tied undone. your whitewashed lies. you've wasted my time again.
it's all wound up in one big surprise. new action, fresh flesh.
oh, tonight i dance my demise. could be my last dance. could
be my own death. can you see me bleed? i am the wounded.
i am the injured. oh scarlet, where's my last dance? oh scarlet,
where are you now?
What I Am
develop a taste for portrayal. see there
is a need and see that the need is met. grasp that there is a hope
and find hope to begin again. look through me, see something in me.
see some good for once. for it could've been worse. feel my
throat swallowing reason and these nerves pushing blood. anguish,
i can't cope with the notion of what i've become. you say it couldn't
be better. i say it only gets worse. i'll close my mind off.
openness is something so awkward. i want you to be here now.
your emotions are cold. this could lead to destruction and it always
does. evidence of a transgretion has be clearly designed. since
step one we've exercised guilt as rebellion. throwing away all that's
substantial. no longer is there relative reason of permanent existence
at all. what happens when your demands fall through and power becomes
your weakness? which in turn becomes the doubt i've had all along.
i am and i will not function anymore. this is what i am, this is
what i am, this is what i am, this is what i am.
Second Stage Of Adolescence
revisiting former frames of mine. i've had
nothing less responsible than this. cash hand, back hand, slap in
the face. i want something more real. surrealistic noxious
state of mind. heart puncture piss sweat intake perfection by design
drunk step drug friction. oh, i will be clean again. i suffocate
awaiting tomorrow. shine your lights down on me. awaiting for
ascension, my disbelief. our punishment release a new form of intoxication.
i have something more real. i am the starving hope. i am abandonment
fulfilled. why don't you take it all away from me? my disgrace
only waste. absence of faith in a world filled with you mocking me.
it takes a few strong to survive and more than a lifetime to deprive me
of you. am i the only one left? left alone playing on that
one pinched nerve. is there anything substantial, with some consistency
at all? i'm impaling my own breath. i'm wishing and washing
away tonight.
At The End Of It All
you've punished me with imagination and fear.
you've inspired me throughout all these years. don't leave now, don't
go away. the brilliant shining through one million inferior shooting
star gazers. brilliant shining star of mine shooting star gaze down.
i'll see you again, somewhere beyond forever and ever. don't leave
now, don't leave now, don't leave now, don't leave now, don't leave now,
don't leave now, don't leave now, don't leave now, don't leave now, don't
leave now, don't leave now, don't leave now, don't leave.