1. Blood Children (An Introduction)
2. Bleeding Mascara
3. Right Side Of The Bed
4. This Flesh A Tomb
5. You Eclipsed By Me
6. The Crimson
7. The Remembrance Ballad
8. An Interlude
9. Corseting
10. Demonology And Heartache
11. My Sanity On The Funeral Pyre
12. Nevada's Grace
13. Five Vicodin Chased With A Shot Of
Clarity
Blood Children (An Introduction)
Bleeding Mascara
A wraith with an angel's body. A demon with
a smile of gold. You soul sucker. I won't become like you.
A killer with the perfect weapons, crystal eyes and a heart of coal.
You soul sucker. I won't lose myself in you. Look how pretty
she is when she falls down. Now there is no beauty in bleeding mascara.
Her lips are quivering like a withering rose. She's back again.
What the fuck do you think love means? It's much more than words
and feelings sucking me dry. Is my marrow that sweet? Your
dead lovers have left a trail of broken hearts and misspent hopes.
Sucking them dry. Does their marrow taste of sweetness sweetness,
sweetness? I hope you choke.
Right Side Of The Bed
And I can see her now, dancing around, her drink
in hand. All her baggage in tow. I just want to forget and
let go of all the joy, all of the pain. I took your guilt and placed
it into me, and now I kiss it goodbye. Our last dance ended fatally.
Who's sleeping on my side of the bed tonight? Have you ever cried
so hard, baby you just died? And there she goes again, another masquerade
in false circumstance. She'll fuck you just for the taste.
I just wish that I could replace all the memories of what makes my blood
run cold. And as your blood flows through me, I say goodbye to what
we had. She came and went, I gnawed through my lip. Makeup
smeared in her eyes, each sob's a reason to say goodbye. Sometimes
when you're holding on, you'll never see the light. With flowers
in her hair, gazed upon with dead lovers eyes. She never looked so
good and I never felt so right. I felt so wrong.
This Flesh A Tomb
I feel eyelashes on my cheek, and they lacerate
my flesh, a pain so good. Put your hand in mind, never let go, never
wake up cause I'm done with promises. I'm taking blood oaths.
Feels like you could kiss my imperfections, my imperfections away.
And I would stand, stand by your side until the sun turns the sky all the
colors I see in your eyes. I'll never need to see the sun again,
there's enough light in your eyes to light up our little world. So
take me, take me away. Kill me slowly, I'll never be the same.
I swear to you on everything I am, and I dedicate to you all that I have
and I promise you that I will stand right by your side forever and always
until the day I die. The bite marks on my neck never felt so good.
I'm losing control and it's all that I can do not to blackout and fall
into lust with you. Your kisses infect me. The dark gift is
loving you, and I feel immortal and I want to make you feel the same.
So stand by me as we immolate. We can burn in each other's arms.
You Eclipsed By Me
I began my ascent at minus zero, you made so sure
of that. You tried to keep me down here, your complacency has been
your downfall. Nobody made you king of the world, and I'm here to
dethrone you. So kiss the ring motherfucker, it's my time, my time
to shine. Grasping for the straws as they fall, maybe you can make
a splint for your broken ego, for your broken ego. So I say thank
you for the scars and the guilt and the pain. Every tear I've never
cried has sealed your fucking fate. What did you take me for, a fool?
Or were you just too blind to see that every effort made has failed and
there is no destroying me? Hate can be a positive emotion, when it
forces you to better yourself. You built me, constructed my desire,
perfected my hatred. Now I'm driven to be ten times better than you
think you are. Piece by piece I've built my walls and burned the
bridges down that lead back to people like you, so full of malice, so full
of scorn. You tried your best to crush my spirit, you tried to steal
my soul. You pushed my back against the wall and I broke it down.
I will not be broken, though I am the one who bleeds. I will not
be broken, I am the one.
The Crimson
I feel it welling up inside and Robert Smith lied,
boys do cry and with blood tears in my eyes I'm an Anne Rice novel come
to life. I can't hide the monster anymore. One can only feel
desolate for so long until one starts to change into something the mirror
doesn't recognize. I metamorphosize. The darkness has been
biding its time to claim its latest victim, fresh meat for carnal desires,
to become what I became. I viewed the sun for the last time.
Will you still hold me when you see what I have done? Will you still
kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood? So crimson and
red, I feel it flowing from your lips. My heart is dead and so are
you. And it pulses through, the desire to change, to deconstruct
all of my past failings. But where to begin because when you live
in sin it's hard to look at saints without them reflecting their jet black
auras back on you. And all I have is hope, my inner burn's not fading,
I'll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day. And all
I have is hope and all I need is time to bury in pine under six feet of
time that lies I told me about myself. Claw my way out, pick the
splinters from under my fingernails. I won't lose hope, I won't give
in. Just live and breathe and try not to die again.
The Remembrance Ballad
These days are closing in. The end has become
apparent. We're only here for so long. Will anyone remember
my name when time has washed away the dust of our ashes? When my
head rests in a velvet lined casket? What's out there? What
is my eternal fate? It only just recently hit me that this life is
just a state. Mortality fading, like the innocence of love, I'm scared
to death of what's to become of my immortal soul of this eternal flame,
will you remember? Will your heart sing with pain? Who calls
out my name? Who can tell me what happens when my eyes close for
the last time? Does it all simply end in a blanket of darkness, what
of my soul, what of my soul? All those things you couldn't say, you
should have said. All those I love you's lost, weighed more like
lead on your chest. What if I could take back all those misspent
days? Every second of anger, I would wash my sins away.
An Interlude
Corseting
Just swallow the pill and think of me no longer.
Just let go and take yourself out before I kill you too. Aren't you
tired of me fucking you over and over? You were the last person I
wanted in my sights. And my heart honestly breaks when I think of
you. I understand now what I love you means. It's doing the
right thing no matter of the consequence. I'm tying you up, using
the nicest lace, trying to kill you softly, trying to erase your face.
All the while I'm doing my best not to rub my love up against your head.
I'd redecorate the walls with your inner thoughts, but I'm afraid it's
the wrong shade of red. But I have these sadistic urges and I don't
want to take it out on you. Right now you're the only one who understands
my plight. Right now you're the only reason I can't sleep through
the night.
Demonology And Heartache
So unaffectionate, so insecure. You claim
to know a heartache, and what it's like to have your insides torn out.
And I believe you I see it everytime your pallbearer's pallor is obscured
by the darkness, dancing across your face, and when the blackness veils
your eyes in pain. I know what it's like when memories make you wince
and love letters read like obituaries and photo albums are the books of
the dead. I need no reminders, no more reminders. I'll forget
the past and lay it to rest. If I had my way I'd cut the calluses
off your breaking heart if I could get past the sternum. Cauterize
those wounds with every kiss I could give to you. I'm holding your
heart in my hand, the reason it still beats. Am I being too cryptic?
Am I being too obscure? Love kills, romance is dead and I don't even
trust myself, but I love you and you can pull my wings apart and pin me
down under glass until the end of days if it can help you discover that
we share the same pain. I just hope you write your thesis before
your subject is dead. No life after death.
My Sanity On The Funeral Pyre
Paranoia is the insect worming its way through
my subconscious thoughts. It's the larva of my self doubt, gestating
in my heart as I spiral down. And everything I touch is breaking
and it falls to earth in splinters and I shiver as every splinter finds
its way underneath my skin. And after 22 years I can still make my
skin crawl. Every shortcoming, a pitfall. On my way to making
amends within myself to be what I became. Sometimes it feels like
the whole wide world has made itself my enemy. But I will stand upon
my own two feet and raise my head up. I lick my wounds trying to
cleanse the infection. Rabid and diseased reality fades away.
When I pushed myself too far, a dream of emotional perfection has left
a wounded heart. Trying to perceive the gifts inherent inside me,
it's like squeezing the trigger, it's like opening fire on everyone who's
let me down, on every beautiful lie that is only fiction for the first
time. I'm losing control and I like it. Freedom feels like
the noose is gone.
Nevada's Grace
In this perfection I lament her beauty, her voice
a sour note in this bitter serenade. And all those things I could
have would have should have said ring out like gunshots across long lost
days. If that wasn't love then what the fuck was I thinking?
I would bear my soul just to bask in your grace and your beauty.
Your strength inspires all of my days. I would carry any load just
to bear your cross for a day. Your love fills me up when the blood
in my body's drained and your strength is my backbone when I feel every
bone break. It takes my breath away how you took my breath away.
How could I know that you would take my breath away? How could I
know one kiss would change everything...
Five Vicodin Chased With A Shot Of Clarity
After all this time of asking questions of trying
to find something to quiet this soul, I'm left alone within my mind into
this self-made hell I delve. It's not as hot as you think, more so
dark and cold with no room to breathe. I'm sorry, I don't think it's
going to be ok this time. My heart has skipped its final beat, it's
beating me down onto the floor. That must mean that the pills are
working. The glass isn't half empty this time, I smashed it on the
ground a long long time ago. It shattered when it fell, and I broke
to pieces. Each shard's another reason, another way to give up.
This skin is so tight that the air can't reach my brain. There is
nothing telling my heart to beat any faster, to let me scream for help.
I will never give up. I will never take the easy way out. This
is life. This is struggle. This is love. This is war.